Monday, January 12, 2009


So, I was volunteering in the 5th grade classroom today. I do it every Monday afternoon. (I go to 1st grade in the mornings, they just didn't need me today.) While I'm sitting there, this boy asks me what's my dream. I must have looked blank because he then clarified it by saying, "What do you want from life, you know, your dream."

It's been about 2 hours since he asked me that question, and he continued with, "do you want to be a millionaire, do you want...." until the teacher told him to get back to work. Two hours later, I don't know the answer. When I was little, I wanted to be a doctor. Then I wanted to be a photographer, a musician, a football player for the Chicago Bears, a jedi (yes, the boy gets it from me), a ninja, a Marine or a SEAL, a bartender. Basically, there were a million things I wanted to be and most of them had nothing to do with any of the others. But, what about now. What do I want from life?

I think my life is pretty decent. Sure, more money would be awesome, but what's the trade off? Would I need a different job, or maybe a second job? I'm not willing to do that. What about jobs? Would I want a different job? Right now, I'm happy with my work. Sure, there are tons of things that I can't stand, but I've worked enough to know that all jobs have bad points. My job though, has so many good points, I'm not trading. Just the job part of it alone is great. I work 40 hours, have holidays, vacation, no weekends or evenings, and I only work 4 days! I like it. Also, they are really good about letting us have time off for kid functions if needed. Then, lets look at what I do all day. I teach. What's better than that. You get to experience the joy of learning every day. Sure, some days it could be just the fact that they finally figured out that if you stack big blocks on the bottom, a structure stands better than on little blocks, but that's fine. Then there is the potential you see with so many of the kids is amazing. I have one kid that is so enthralled with anything in the animal kingdom especially bugs. I can see him being a scientist. Also, as you teach, you learn. Thinking again about my budding scientist, this is especially true. He will find something and want to know what it is. We will do research to find out what it is and as much about it as possible. The main thing that he was researching was butterflies and moths during the summer.

Then there is family. My two kids can be a challenge, but they are a lot of fun that I wouldn't change for anything. I also have a great husband. Sure, they all make me crazy once in a while, but ultimately, they are awesome. AND they all put up with me.

So, while I may have given up on my "dreams", I'm sure I'll be fine.

Monday, January 5, 2009

What I've been thinking about

Mostly, I have been thinking about growing up. When I went to grade school, there were several schools in the district. I just checked, they only have 5 there now, but that's not my story. My story is that I went to almost all the grade schools in that town. Even if there were only 5, that's still more than one a year. I was there only until 4th grade. Kindergarten was at it's own building. Anyway, then we moved when I was going into 5th grade. I went to two schools in 5th grade. We actually stayed in Lincoln, NE all the way until 8th grade. That was huge, of course we went to Jr. High so technically that's two schools. I begged not to move. My family left NE a couple months before I did. I got to stay with my grandparents for half of a semester. I moved to good old Kansas over winter break. I hated it. We moved to a small town from a big city. I had friends in Lincoln and a whole world that we all had conquered.

So anyway, towards the end of 8th grade, I had to go to a new school in a small town. Everyone knew everyone else and had known them since basically birth. That is not all that cool. Being the new kid sucks. If you have never been a new kid, believe me, I was the perpetual new kid, it sucks. No, people weren't mean or rude or anything, they just have this history. They've been going to each other's birthday parties since before kindergarten. Thinking back, I'm not so sure I went to any classmate birthday parties. Maybe they didn't have those in Hiawatha. Maybe we were too old and I didn't know. Sure, I did make friends, and ultimately, it wasn't a horrible place to grow up. Some of my best friends are from there and my husband is from Hiawatha.

But, what's bothering me is that I don't have NO one that I have a life long connection with. I see people from all over on facebook posting pictures of themselves with their friends from kindergarten and they are my age and older and are still friends with these people. Well, of course there are younger people that have life long friends, too.

So, my goal in my present life is to NOT move a million times and let my kids stay in the same area. There are positive aspects to moving so much. I'm really good with names and faces. I can observe all things from any angle and don't have to be involved in everything. I honestly don't care what's popular or what other people think about my choices. I'm also good at doing stuff fast (coming in the middle of a semester and still required to do all the work causes that one) and I can do it by myself.

Things I feel that I'm missing from moving so much really aren't as numerous now that I think about it. I do have a hard time getting comfortable enough to not be shy. For example, if I go somewhere new, I'm quiet, hang back and take it all in. People that I've known for a long time don't know this, they think I'm out going. Or if you met me when I was in one of my comfort zones you might think I'm fine. I don't have long term memories of many people. If I think of my best friends from Washington, I still think of them as my best friends. Sure, I added them as friends on Myspace, but I don't really KNOW them. Also, the last time I saw them was when I was 18, so they were too. Of course, now it seems like they should still be 18. Then my best friend from Lincoln. He's my friend on facebook. If I'm honest, I think of him as a 12 year old. Seriously, this was my best friend for 3 years. We were always together. I moved away and started over. He probably has other childhood friends that he continued to be friends with and is still friends with.

Anyway, what's everyone else think? Do you think moving around a lot is hard on a kid? Would you try not to move too much, or is it not a big deal? Like I said, I hope to stay put so our kids can just have the long term bonds. Also, did you move around a lot? How did you deal with it? I'm sure each personality handles each thing differently, I don't think my brother really cares that we moved so much, but I did.